


Truth

by cate-lynne (catelynne)



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 22:10:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4075621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catelynne/pseuds/cate-lynne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader has been dating Dean for a few months.  Everything was going great…until Dean started acting strange.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truth

When you woke up, you could tell that he was gone.  Again.  You sighed heavily and rolled over to stare at the empty bed next to you.  For the past week and a half, Dean had been acting strange.  He came to bed hours after you did and was gone when you woke up.  He was distant, distracted, and it was starting to scare you.

Sighing again, you forced yourself to get out of bed instead of hiding under the covers and moping like you wanted to.  You had to move forward like nothing was wrong.  As a hunter, it was bad enough that you had opened up to being in a relationship, with another hunter no less.  And with a Winchester, _Dean_ Winchester, of all people.  You should have known you would get hurt.

Pulling on a pair of jeans and an old Stanford sweatshirt that you had stolen from Sam the first week that you met the boys, you padded out in bare feet to the kitchen.  You could hear Sam and Dean bickering good-naturedly, along with the sounds of Sam making breakfast and Dean trying to figure out the coffee maker.  They had gotten a new one after the whole Ghost Kevin thing; it had been too weird to keep using.  This one was much more complex than the last one and Dean had an ongoing war with the appliance.  You paused outside the door to listen to the brothers, a small smile on your face.

“Just gimme my coffee, you son of a bitch!” Dean growled.

Sam laughed. “Dude, I already explained how to use the thing.  Why is this so difficult for you?”

“Why does it need so many buttons?”

“Your old age must be catching up to you, huh?  If even a coffee maker is out of your league…”

“Shut up, Sam!”

“Oh, yeah? Well – good morning, (Y/N)!”  Sam greeted you when you finally stepped into the room, no longer able to resist the smell of the pancakes.  You smiled at Sam but your eyes were on Dean.  When Sam said your name, he stiffened and the playful scowl he had been aiming at Sam slipped away. 

“Morning, Sam.  Dean.”

Not meeting your eyes, Dean stood up and silently walked out in the direction of the garage.  Sam watched him go with a confused expression on his face.  When he turned to you for answers, he was shocked and concerned to see tears streaking down your face.

“(Y/N)?  What’s wrong?”

You opened your mouth to answer, but all that came out was a strangled sounding hiccup.  You turned and raced back out the way you came, making it to the door of your old bedroom, the one you had before you and Dean started sharing, before Sam caught up to you.

“(Y/N)!”  He gently grabbed your arm and tried to turn you to face him.  Embarrassed by your weakness, you kept your face turned away.  “(Y/N), talk to me.  What happened?  Did you and Dean get in a fight?”

The obvious concern and gentleness in his voice nearly broke you.  How was it that Sam could care so much about you, but Dean didn’t?  A sob caught in your throat making it hard for you to breathe.  This time, when Sam tried to get you to look at him, you went willingly and collapsed against him, a crying mess.  His strong arms wrapped around you to keep you upright, but you could hear the slight panic in his voice when he spoke.

“(Y/N), please tell me what’s going on.  I don’t understand…”

He helped you to the bed and sat down next to you while you explained the distance that Dean was putting between you, the silence, and the avoidance.  It took a while, what with you crying, but he finally understood.  Just as he was about to speak, you suddenly jerked and looked up at him with a frightening calm.

“He’s breaking my heart, Sam.  I l- I just can’t-” At that point, you dissolved into tears again.  Sam sat with you until you had cried yourself out and fallen asleep on his chest.  It was hard for him to see you like this.  You were his best friend and he wanted you to be happy.  You didn’t deserve…whatever this was that Dean was doing to you.  Once he was sure you were sound asleep, he shifted you off of him to the pillows, tucked you in, and went to find his brother.

~

Sam found Dean bent over the Impala’s engine, fiddling with something that probably didn’t need to be messed.  Sam stormed up to him, pulled him from the car by his shirt and shoved him away.

“What the-?”

“What are you doing, Dean?”  Sam was already shouting.  “(Y/N) doesn’t deserve this shit!”

Dean looked angry for a second before he deflated and slumped against the side of the car.

“I know,” he mumbled.

"You-What?” Sam asked, confused.  He hadn’t expected to win so easily.

“You’re right.  She doesn’t deserve this, I just…”

“You just what, Dean?”  Sam might be confused about what was going on, but that didn’t make him any less indignant on your behalf.

“I’m scared!” Dean burst out, shocking Sam into silence. “I’m scared, okay?  Sam, all our lives everything we’ve ever loved has been taken away!   I don’t want that to happen to (Y/N).”

Sam stared at Dean for a few minutes until Dean started to fidget.

“What?” he snapped.

“You love her,” Sam said slowly, a grin taking over his face.

Dean winced. “Yeah.”

“Dean, you have to tell her.”

“I can’t,” the blushing older Winchester growled.

“Why the hell not?”

“Because, Sam!  I just can’t.”

Sam sighed.  His brother was an idiot sometimes, but he couldn’t blame him for freaking out about this.  Even if he was being a complete ass about it.  “Listen, man. You gotta fix this.  She’s hurting.”

“You don’t think I know that?” Dean snapped.

“Well, you better do something soon.  Or you’re going to lose her.”

~

You could hear Dean calling your name.  You didn’t answer.  Not long after Sam had left you, you had startled awake from a nightmare.  After that, you snuck down to the lowest level of the bunker, found the darkest, most secluded corner you could, and curled up in a ball.  You couldn’t stand feeling so weak but…that little voice in your head that had been absent for so long was back with a vengeance.

_You thought he loved, that he might actually care about you?  As if.  You stupid girl, haven’t you figured it out yet?  EVERYBODY leaves.  You drive them away.  You’re pathetic, miserable, a burden…_

Once it got started, it didn’t stop.  You stayed in the dark for minutes, hours, days.  You had lost track of time.  And you didn’t care enough to find out.

~

Sam was the one who finally found her.  They had searched high and low for three days, barely pausing to eat or sleep.  Dean couldn’t believe that she would leave the bunker and Sam had agreed.  So they looked in all of her usual spots.  When they didn’t find her, they decided that the best way to look was to split up and search from top to bottom.  Dean was starting to really panic on the third day.  He wouldn’t forgive himself if they never found her.  If he never got to tell her that he loved her.  If he never got to apologize for being an ass the past couple of weeks.  The “ifs” went on and on.

It was then that Dean heard Sam’s shout.

“Dean! DEAN! I found her!” 

Dean turned and sprinted in the general direction of Sam’s frantic voice.  Something was wrong.  He met Sam on the stairs, taking in his little brother’s tense mouth and his furrowed eyebrows.  And there…there in his arms…

“Fuck,” Dean choked out.

She looked dead.  Dean reached out to take her, but Sam frowned and pulled her closer.  Dean stared up at him in shock.  What the hell?

“Let’s just…get her to her room,” he muttered, turning away.  It was then that Dean understood.  Sam blamed him.  And why shouldn’t he?  Dean’s girlfriend, Sam’s best friend, was wrecked.  Because he couldn’t handle his feelings.

Son of a bitch.

~

Sam stayed with her.  As soon as he had set her down on the tiny bed, Dean had been all over her, checking for injuries, taking her pulse, and generally being in the way.  Sam had huffed in irritation and pulled him away, wincing at the lost look on Dean’s face.

“Dude, just go get some water, okay?  She’s probably dehydrated.”  Dean had nodded and dashed away like a maniac, even running into the doorframe in his haste.  Sam just shook his head and kneeled next to the bed so that he was at eye level with her.  He hated seeing her like this.  Fragile, broken…and all because of his idiot brother.

 

Over the next couple of days, Sam sat in a chair by her bed, a book in one hand and her small fingers in the other.  Dean would walk by occasionally to check on them, but he never stayed for long.  Not after Sam had blown up at him.

_“Get out, Dean.”_

_“What?” Dean looked at him with shocked eyes and a gaping mouth._

_“Just leave.  I can watch her.”_

_“But-”_

_“This is your fault, Dean!  You did this to her!”  Sam exploded._

_Dean’s face closed off and his head dropped down to his chest.  Without another word, he shuffled out of the room.  Sam watched him go, his anger melting into guilt.  He shouldn’t have said that.  He knew Dean already blamed himself.  He didn’t need Sam’s blame too._

Sam had steadily been forcing as much water as he could get into her without her drowning.  In her more lucid moments, he would feed her bits of bread and butter.  It had been five days since Sam found her, three days since Dean had stopped visiting, and one day after Sam had tried to sleep in his own room.  At first, he had been too worried to leave her during the night, so he just slept on the floor.  Since she had started improving steadily, he had toyed with the idea of going back to his bed.  But when he tried it last night, a tiny hand had latched onto his wrist to pull him down onto the bed that was really only meant for one person, and definitely not one as big as him.  He had shifted until she rolled over to face him, snuggling into his arms and falling back into a deep sleep.  It had taken Sam a few minutes to relax enough to sleep, but when he did, it was one of the best sleeps he’d ever had.  When he woke up in the morning, he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Dean was standing frozen in the doorway, a look of deep betrayal on his face.  Sam wanted to call out to him but was afraid of waking the girl in his arms.  That had been this morning.  Since then, Dean hadn’t come to check on them once. Sam had moved back to the chair and was flipping through a book on witchcraft when he heard it.

“Sam…”

It was just a whisper, but it was the first word she had spoken.  He smiled and leaned over to capture her hand in his.

“Hey, sweetheart.  How are you feeling?”

“Where…where is Dean?”

Sam smiled.  It looked like everything was going to be okay after all.

~

When you first woke up, all you could see was an expanse of plaid a lot closer to your face than normal.  But you knew who it was, without having to search for his face.

“Sam…”

He responded, but everything was so fuzzy, you couldn’t understand.  It didn’t matter.  There was something you needed to do.  Someone you needed to talk to.

“Where…where is Dean?”

You thought you saw Sam smile before he patted your hand, stood up, and went to find your Dean.

~

“She’s asking for you.”

Dean looked up, startled.  Sam stood in the doorway of his room, watching him carefully.  Dean felt a surge of hope at the words, but did his best to hide it.  And then kill it with the mental image of Sam with a sleeping (Y/N) in his arms. 

“She’s awake, then?”

“Yeah.  Will you see her?”

Dean sent Sam a cold look.  “I dunno.  Am I allowed to?”

Sam looked confused for a moment before he realized what Dean was talking about.  Once he did, an amused, slightly exasperated look took control of his face.  Dean scowled.  It wasn’t funny.

“Dean, we’re not – I don’t feel that way for her.  You know that.  I just…I think she was having nightmares and she needed comfort.”

Dean resisted.  He wanted to believe it, but what if Sam was wrong?

“Please, Dean, she needs you.”

That broke him.  He got up with a grunt and followed Sam to her room.

~

When you opened your eyes again, Dean was sitting on the bed next to you and Sam was leaving, closing the door behind him gently.  As soon as Dean saw your eyes were open, his warm hands were there on your cheeks, cupping your face so he could see your eyes.  You stayed like that, staring at each other, for a long time.  Suddenly, he was pulling you up and closer, wrapping you in his strong arms.  You closed your eyes, enjoying the feeling of his muscles holding you up and the heaving of his chest – wait, what?  It was then that you felt the wetness on your neck and the stuttering breath coming out of him. 

“(Y/N)…” he choked out.  Tentatively, you raised a hand to his hair and stroked the blond hair back off of his face.

“Dean.  Shhh…”

“Son of a bitch, (Y.N).  I thought I lost you.”  You said nothing, not sure what to think.  This was the Dean you had fallen in love with, the Dean you had missed…Not the Dean you had known for the past few weeks.  You weren’t sure what to do.  What if he changed back?  You didn’t think you could survive that.  Suddenly, he pulled back to look you in the eyes.

“I love you.”  He searched your eyes for some kind of reaction but you were frozen inside.  This wasn’t real, this wasn’t real, it couldn’t be…

“I love you, (Y/N).  And I’m so sorry for the way I treated you.  I just…You scare the fucking shit out of me.”

At that you cracked a tiny smile, raising an eyebrow at the same time. “Excuse me?”

He sighed in relief when you spoke, but you could see the tension and nervousness still making him anxious.

“I would do anything for you.  I’d die for you; I’d give up everything for you.  You have so much control over me.  I love you and because of that, I’m so fucking terrified.”

You thought about it for a minute before smiling.  Typical Dean.  You pulled him close for a sweet kiss before pulling back a centimeter.

“I love you, too,” you whispered against his lips before going back in for more.  You could feel his smile and felt a giggle work its way up your throat.  It came out when his lips left yours to explore the rest of your face and neck.

“If you ever disappear like that again, (Y/N)…” he growled.

“What?”  You gasped.  “What are you going to do?”

He growled again, before you suddenly pinned underneath him on the bed.  He stared deep in your eyes, until you smiled and pulled him down to you.

“Don’t worry," you murmured.  “I’m not going anywhere.”

~

Sam walked by (Y/N)’s door a little while later on his way to the library.  He couldn’t help but pause to see if he could hear anything.  He so badly wanted the two to make up.  They were so miserable without each other.  There were whispers just out of hearing range, taunting him.  He edged a little closer until he could hear what they were saying.  In the next second he was pulling away, blushing and picking up his pace to get to the kitchen.  Yeah, they had definitely made up.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm on tumblr now and taking prompts!   
> Find me at cate-lynne.tumblr.com


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